Roasting isn't a Flex!🙄 or is it 😈?
Aslama: If you’ve already understood that the ‘roasting’ in the title isn’t referring to a cooking technique, you’re probably of the younger generation that spends a decent amount of time on social media. For those unaware; ‘roasting’ is usually a mean phrase used to mock or ridicule another person, often to create humour in a conversation, at times, a casual- sarcastic remark which could also be called ‘grilling’ and ‘smoking’ others (don’t ask me why all of these are related to cooking…. I don’t know … lol 🤣).
Of course, every generation comes along with its own set of good and bad habits but unfortunately we have this toxic habit of glorifying and admiring unhealthy behaviours and then labelling and brushing them off as ‘banter’, ‘plain-humour’ and even ‘ um...just-joking’🙃.
Uada: I think we all understand that Mother Teresa doesn't like jokes. Then there's me, I personally don't think there's anything wrong with a little roast from time to time as long as it's ‘marinated’ (reference intended… haha) and well done🍗.
Seriously though, ‘roasts’ aren't all about insulting others. It can be a great way to laugh while getting to know one another or even just trying to cheer each other up when a friend is not happy☹️.
Aslama: In my opinion, being able to pass a quick-witty response, that is usually mean, after every couple of statements with the person you are talking to isn’t something to be proud about and why do we do this?, just for a momentary boost of ego?!, to ‘spice’ things up? (honestly, why do all these have a cooking reference?) Sadly there are times when it is actually said to look down on other people👇🏿.
Uada: In many cases the goal of a ‘roast’ is to find the funny in a bad situation, so that the mood in a room is lightened or so that the tension is broken. The aim of a roast should never be to hurt but rather to amuse both the ‘roaster’ and the ‘roastee’.
Aslama: But Uada, we need to learn to be more empathetic and understanding to realise that even if our ‘roasting’ is received with laughter; it might not be the same for the person it was directed towards. If a joke is not funny to the person being joked about it then it isn’t a joke! We aren’t aware of the anxieties, insecurities and many more underlying issues that our fellow colleagues and friends are experiencing, so your comments, concerning the appearance and experiences of other people, are better off unsaid!🤐
Uada: Sometimes sitting in silence makes people feel worse, human beings are social creatures. We enjoy conversing with others and we like getting their approval. A casual diss can be a clever way to induct someone into a particular space or circle, it gives them a que to relax and a platform to also interact in the jokes with the others. A ‘roast’ is usually an exaggeration of what is actually true.
Aslama: If you do want to joke, make sure your jokes aren’t hurtful towards other people. We need to stop encouraging this behaviour and make sure to call out the ‘roasting’ mostly when the person towards whom it is directed says ‘it’s fine’ but they visibly aren’t, they might be saying so in fear of being ostracised. It costs absolutely nothing to be kind🤑! Some people may not be able to say it directly to you but more often than not, the remarks you pass about people, even if your intention isn’t to hurt them in any way, is probably consuming them up on the inside.
Uada: Kind people are normally boring (which isn’t bad), that's why the bad boys get most of the girls. 🎎People need to learn to lighten up (you too, Aslama :) ). Just because someone is roasting you does not mean they're trying to hurt or attack you. In many instances they're also trying to make you laugh as well. There are environments where everything is fair game, from the botched hair style to the mismatched socks. It's not about hurting you but about getting you to see the humor in it as well.
Aslama: Would we say the same thing about 🐈‘cat-calling’🙀? A person can defend themself by saying they aren’t harassing anyone but we all recognise that it isn’t ok to do that, then why are we so adamant on drawing the line in this case? Why don’t we address this as a form of bullying as well?
Uada: This isn’t always bullying because roasting is not meant to be one sided, it's like a dance, I take a step forward and mention your primary school shoes and you follow suit by mentioning my baby moustache. The roast is like a dance, it takes two to tango. You move back and forth, making fun of one another without any animosity and making sure not to catch feelings💔.
Aslama: At times, even when we do realise that we have gone too far, we expect the person to maybe forget or even ignore our thoughtless remark. Now you might think, “oh well I don’t really care what people say, so it makes no difference to me” but just that much isn’t enough, especially in times when people easily get away with saying as they please from behind a screen with an anonymous identity📱. If you catch on or see this happening to someone else, it becomes your responsibility to ask the person to refrain from such.
Aslama: It’s highly likely that you’ll be met with comments like ‘up-tight’ or ‘humourless’(just like Uada’s thinking about me right now) but remember you aren’t in the wrong in this situation, in fact you need a pat on the back for doing the right thing🖐️.
Uada: Well, you definitely do need a pat on the back, It's really hard trying to deal with the world when it seems like the boy across the room is always on your case. I may be wrong, but it's possible all he wants to do is dance, a ‘roast-dance’ to be exact, find something that is just funny and then subtly mention it. If he runs away crying, then you are the victor😈 and if he returns a friend’s ‘roast’ then you might just be friends for life.
Aslama: Ok, Ok, fine!, I’ll admit, I guess it isn’t always bad to get a good laugh with others. Uada, maybe I’m just ‘touchy’ on the subject because I’m not the best with my ‘comebacks’. (Don’t judge me😆 ), just don’t hurt me please.
Uada: I just like being the devil’s advocate, in all honesty ‘roasting’ has it’s dark sides. It's a great way to break the ice but if you're doing it to someone who hasn’t consented to the ‘roast-dance’ it becomes one person insulting another. The stuff said can be very hurtful if you aren't careful about what you say. it's like ice cream, tastes amazing but too much too fast can give you a terrible brain freeze 🥶 .
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